Last night, Madelynn did not want to go to bed. This is not new, exactly, but the way she cried seemed a little more desperate to me, for some reason. Leave it to a neurotic first-time mom to think she is picking up on some subtle difference in her child’s bedtime protests, right? Just before putting her in the crib, she signed “potty” and looked at me with sad eyes. I said goodnight and placed her in her crib. What an awful mother.
Within minutes she was asleep. We didn’t think much of it but then she cried out a few hours later. Because of our handy-dandy baby monitor we bought a few months ago we are able to check on her and comfort her without going in to her room. Ryan has the best comforting voice. He says, “It’s time to go to sleep Madelynn. Good night. I love you.” She immediately stops crying and goes back to sleep. So Ryan worked his magic and all was well, or so we thought.
At 1 am, I woke up to her crying again. Too tired or too stubborn to use the monitor, I got up and got her up. She seemed to want to go potty again, so I took her into the bathroom (towing blankets, pillows, Grinchy, etc.). Madelynn then proceeded to have a CATASTROPHIC MELTDOWN at the thought of TAKING OFF HER PAJAMAS in order to GO POTTY. It was truly one of those classic parenting moments where you can’t think of what to do and must blow out breathe into your hands for lack of knowledge. I couldn’t think at all. I was tired, mainly. I wasn’t amused or frustrated, just tired. She wanted to go potty, but didn’t want to take her pajamas off. It wasn’t going to work, you see. So she had a nice little cry. Then I picked her up, put a diaper on her, and put the pajamas securely back into place. This seemed a worthy compromise of sorts.
I think the reason she woke and signed “potty” and cried was the garlic and/or tomatoes we had with dinner. She was definitely gassy and definitely woke up today ready to have a nice poop in the potty (which she did).
But the reason I’m writing about it now is to tell my future self, who may be dealing with babies or young children with PTSD or other disorders which require time and patience to figure out, that IT’S OK FOR THE BABY TO FREAK OUT SOMETIMES. If our non-PTSD, completely biological, laid-back, sweet-natured, little angel, first-born, totally mellow child can do it, so can they.